nkbaa:

tell me in a playlist

be-humble:

your comedy level is more important than your beauty

jokeboy:

jokeboy:

cant wait to be 21 so I can be taken seriously and also I can go suck my mans balls off in a rental car

somecutething:

Apparently cats of any size love a good box.

miifighter:

my requirements for sleeping at night: is the pillow cool enough? are my legs positioned so they don’t put too much weight on each other? are my arms tucked in nicely and not at odd angles? can I stop thinking about the day’s events? is enough of my body out from under the blanket that I won’t overheat? are my toes safely tucked in to hide them from monsters?

my requirements for sleeping in the morning: is the surface vaguely horizontal and not made entirely out of hornets

pretentiouslimericks:

meatswitch:

just-shower-thoughts:

Child gates are the equivalent of blocked off areas in video games due to your character’s level.

what’s it mean that my nephew just fucking bowls them over with his massive baby body

Speedrun strats